Chinatown

Greetings fellas and lady fellas! I’m Homie. I’m your home homie named Homie, and I’m fixin’ to solve the greatest mystery since sliced bread. If ya’ll haven’t heard, the Peepys and the Ouiouis are gone. Disappeared. Vamoosed. My first guess? Cowpy Rustlers. But we’re not gonna speculate, we’re getting to the bottom of this! We’re gonna get out there and search the four corners of the world!

Today’s corner of the world is Asia! I’ve spared no expense and hopped on the first bus to Chinatown! Driver says three more stops and we’ll be in the land of the rising sun!

Wow. Heckin’ big here. Homie, reporting live from Chinatown! The current political climate is a thirty percent chance of rain. There’s approximately a lot of restaurants, some convenient stores and no sign of the missing critters. Yet. But we just got here. It’s time to investigate. Stick with me as I track down the scoop and turn the town upside down. Or turn upside down in the town. One of those.

Oh, found ‘em! …Wait, no, false alarm. That’s a purse.

Alright, we gotta look high and low. We gotta focus. If I were a Peepy, where would I be? …You know, it was April recently. Maybe the IRS took ‘em. I don’t think the Peepys have paid taxes since Benjamin Lincoln invented them. Actually, maybe we should follow the peanuts. Maybe if I order some peanut chicken, that’ll-

Oh! Noodle lunch special! Heckin’! Heckin’ heckin’ heckin’! Heckin’ heckin’ heckin’ heckin’ heckin’ heckin’ heckin’!

Hi, it’s Homie again. It’s later and I’m full of noodles. I’m so happy, but I need a nap and I need another nap. Wait, no, hold on, what was I doing here? I had errands to run or something. Oh, right, the Peepys! Totally forgot. Hmm.

You know what? They probably aren’t here. If they were here, they’d obviously be getting the noodle lunch special. That’s what I’d do if I was them. That’s what I’d do if I was me!

Okay, we can mark off one corner of the world as checked. But we are not giving up the search! We’re just giving up for today because we’re full of noodles, and that’s called a strategic retreat.

Goodbye, Chinatown. I love you.